Sunday, September 15, 2013

kangarooin' it.

i remember reading an article back in some french class about 'la generation kangarou'-the kangaroo generation, so called because of the necessity (er, at least, the occurrence) of kids having to move back in with their parents.



well I am no exception! SURPRISE!!! GUESS WHO'S BACK M&D!?!as my mother once wrote on a picture i was tagged in on facebook: "a face only a mother could love and she does!"




so back at home, although-praise jesus-we actually have a home!! HALLELUJAH! Cue the angel choir!



so how have i been spending my scorching summer days back in the good U S of A?



it alternates between lazy days laying by the pool and days where I frantically scan craigslist, idealist, indeed, edjoin, and sugardaddy.com for jobs, typically to find myself feeling overwhelmed, underqualified, and not quite sure what the fuck i am planning on doing with my life.



typical post-grad emotional rollercoaster. but you can't fuck with me now! been there, done that. i won't let the fact that there is a recession and i have no real marketable skills because somebody (or many bodies) once told me it doesn't matter what you major in as long as you get a degree you will get a job and now i just have a shit ton of student debt-I take this moment to pause for a sharp inhalation of some much needed air-get me down. NOPE! ain't nothing gonna get THIS GIRL DOWN!



but honestly. i'm not depressed yet. although i wish i had some better guidance growing up alas. i can't help it that i have a heavy flow and wide set vagina, nor can I help the fact that i am fucking stellar at literature and there are really no jobs for people who want to just learn languages and write books. i mean there are but those are so few and far between that I know better than to pursue them just yet. First, gotta make me some monies.



did i mention i have a boyfriend who lives 500 billion miles away!?!?



OKAY, so that may have been a bit of an exaggeration, but forreal. Which god up there thought it would be great fun to plop this amazing dude right in my lap like a month before I left France? Fucked up. Seriously bro.



So now I am in love with somebody who I have seen more times on Skype than in real life.



You win some, you lose some.



And I guess, really, you could call that a win, because if Skype did not exist there is no way we could maintain this.



But he is kind of like a unicorn.



So rare and magical



So i can't let him go.



I mean, he is a fucking UNICORN.



And voldemort if you try to come suck his blood in a last-ditch attempt to gain immortality, i will fuckin beat yo a$$.



I tried that new dollar sign for S's thing in attempt to be hip. Did it work? Am i cooler yet?



Is anyone following me or am I not making sense, as per usual? Sometimes I feel like everything I say and write is just one giant inside joke with myself. Well, I can be my number one fan



So yesterday, as happens about once every MONTH (if you catch my drift). I became a fucking monster of the black lagoon of human emotions and spent the entire day sobbing because I missed my boyfriend and I don't have a job so how in the HELL am i going to see him?



(disclaimer: he isn't some dick who refuses to come visit me. he is doing a year long Masters program, therefore like such as he is broke. sadface).



but, you know, after the uncontrollable fountain of my emotions ebbed and i sat on a blow-up mattress watching the hangover III with my family as my eyes burned after all thatI feel alright.



sometimes, you just need to let it all out. and you need to lay in a neon crop top (serving as an impromptu sports bra) and sweat pants and cry onto a t-shirt on top of your pillow (so as not to soil the pillow. I am so considerate).



i feel much better (although slightly tired) today.



i am applying to jobs and sometimes i feel like i should just play the girl card and slip my picture onto my resume in the hopes that whoever is reading my resume things i look cute or endearing or some shit.



whatever. it will all work out.



meanwhile, i will continue eating string-cheese out of the fridge and sending almost offensive amounts of snapchats to my sister because, heck, i am an unemployed college-graduate. the world is my fucking oyster.
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