Saturday, November 30, 2013

Ranking Every Episode of Buffy, ok my top and bottom 10.

Recently there was a thing floating around ranking every episode of Buffy ever.

I decided to do a top 10, and why, and bottom 10.


144. BEER BAD (4X05)

This is the stupidest episode of Buffy. Basically Buffy drinks magic beer and reverts to being the missing link in human evolution. Yeah, it's that bad. Also Xander (who is meant to be 18-19) is working in a bar in a country where you can't drink until you are 21, where Buffy who is the same age is served beer. Stupid episode.

143. BAD EGGS (2X12)

Eggs for a "look after the egg" class hatch and take over people to dig up a bigger one of the demons that come out of the eggs. There are also two random vampires who could of had a bigger part in the show but ended up being a waste of time.

142. RETILE BOY (2X05)

Teenagers go to a frat party where the frat guys worship some demon snake that allows them to have lots of money. Buffy and Cordy end up being sacrifices to the snake guy. Buffy kills it in the end (and Xander gets kicked out of the party)


Buffy and Riley have sex a lot and a plant grows out of the room. Other weird things happen and can only stop when they stop. Really a stupid episode. The only reason it isn't at the bottom is the fact that the house the episode is set in was an old house for troubled girls and that's the reason everything is going badly.

140. THE PACK (1X06)

Xander gets possessed by a hyena spirit, along with some others from the school, and they eat the school mascot (a pig) and then, without Xander, the principal.

139. GO FISH (2X20)

The swim team are given performance enhancing drugs which ends up causing them to become fish monsters (from the black lagoon). Then at the end they just swim away. They aren't healed or killed. I expected them to come back in some later season, that would have justified the episode, but they never did.

138. BAND CANDY (3X06)

This is my one major divergence from buzzfeed's list. They think this should be number 26. I hate this episode. Earshot, which harks back to it, is a much better episode (33 on buzz feed). The adults eat chocolate and act like kids, basically. It is only this high because Giles keeps encouraging Buffy to hit things, thinking that is the solution and Principal Synder is a loser as a teen, as expected.


This douche called Warren makes a sex robot because he was dumped. Then the girl comes back to him and he leaves the hopelessly devoted robot walking around looking for him until her batteries run out. Yawn. Only this high because it results in Robot Buffy and Spike trying to flirt and being thrown out a window.


Buffy becomes a fastfood person and the nice old lady is a monster. It sucks... like McDonalds on TV.

135. THE KILLER IN ME (7X13)

Willow kisses a girl and turns into the guy she killed in the previous season and almost reacts the murder that led her to murder. Amy (normally a rat) turns out to be a rat (in the she's a horrible person sense)

honorary mention:


The Riley story is tragic and this episode, where we learn that to feel alive he is being bitten by vampires and having his blood drank for cash, is the worst of that downward spiral. Buffy's life was too much for this good guy from Iowa, or wherever, and he becomes the worst of all the guys. Spike became a good guy for Buffy, Angel's good side is completely in love with Buffy but Riley becomes the darkest of the three of them. Then Buffy (after one of Xander's emotional speeches) runs after him to get him back because all Riley is doing is all her fault anyway. Stupid. Really glad he got away in the helicopter and came back married.


10. BECOMING (2X21 AND 22)

This is another of those heart-wrenching but amazing finales of Buffy. Spike, the evil vampire, sides with Buffy against Angel the good vampire... Then, after a big fight, Buffy has to kill Angel, about ten seconds after he turns good again.

9. RESTLESS (4X22):

This is Buffy gone crazy. It has four dreams caused by the events, or the aftermath of the events, of the previous episode. There is also a cheese man.


There is so much packed into the two-part Season 3 finale, it's impossible to list all the great moments. To highlight a few: Buffy's showdown with Faith, Angel drinking Buffy's blood, and all of Sunnydale High taking up arms against Mayor Wilkins. It's a thrilling cap to Buffy's high school era.

7. TABULA RASA (6X08):

The one where they all forget who they are.

"You're Dawn."

"Or Umad"

"I know why Joan is the boss, I'm some kind of superhero."

"Joan look, I'm a superhero too."

"They want spikes."

Oh the good memories of not remembering.


The musical episode of Buffy, all singing, all dancing. So much fun.

5. THE BODY (5X16):

I think this is possibly one of the best episodes of TV EVER! It is a beautiful piece of TV with no music and so much emotion. Buffy deals with a natural death and can't do anything about it. So powerful because it makes her so powerless.

4. THE PROM (3X:

This is the episode in which all of the Sunnydale High students recognise they have all been saved at least once in the last three years by Buffy and award her with the class protector umbrella. Moving moment in Buffy history. Giles comments on how sometimes people can surprise you in their capacity for good (or something) which the viewer just has to nod to

3. THE GIFT (5X22, 100):

The last episode of Season 5 (episode 100, the last on the WB) is one of the saddest episodes of Buffy, as opposed to the previous which is one of the happiest. Buffy dies, and even today it gets me every time.

2. PROPHECY GIRL (1X12, 12):

Shock horror that this is up here. This is the first episode I ever saw, when I was about 6-7. Buffy became the girl that could kill the monsters hiding in my wardrobe and under my bed. Despite her dying she gets up and kicks the Masters butt to dust.

1. CHOSEN (7X22, 144):

The series finale of Buffy where every girl who could be a Slayer becomes a slayer is definitely the best. Buffy went out with a bang, (all of Sunnydale was destroyed). The scenes with the first four (Buffy, Willow, Xander and Giles) brought the series beautifully full circle.


* Earshot (I have previously mentioned, it is genius). (3X18)

* Conversations with dead people. (7X07)

* The Weight of the World (another one I disagree with the buzz feed list on, they have it 110, I would have it around 20) (5X21)

* Hush (4X10)

* Killed by Death (BF 130, me about 15)

* Seeing Red (6X19)

* Villans (6X20)

* Two to Go (6X21)

* Grave (6X22)

* Fear, itself. (4X04)

* What's my line (2X09 AND 10)

* This Year's Girl and Who are you? (4X15 AND 16)

* Something Blue (4X09)

* The Wish (3X9)
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